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sums it up [11 Feb 2013|09:29pm]
All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we knew
And this regret I got accustomed to
Once it was so right
When we were at our height
Waiting for you in the hotel at night
I knew I hadn't met my match
But every moment we could snatch
I don't know why I got so attached
It's my responsibility
You don't owe nothing to me

I don't understand
Why do I stress the man
When there's so many bigger things at hand?
We could've never had it all
We had to hit a wall
So this is inevitable withdrawal
Even if I stop wanting you
And perspective pushes through
I'll be some next man's other woman soon
I cannot play my self again
I should just be my own best friend
Not fuck my self in the head with stupid men.
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Dec 4th [09 Feb 2013|06:03pm]
Just that whole Dec.4th post, exactly, all over again.
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Single life looks pretty good right now. [04 Dec 2012|08:19am]
As it turns out I could never have that "take it easy/love nothing" outlook. I'm nice, I care about people, and I'm honest. I like it that way. I don't want to be shitty to people, and I'm not.
in this particular situation, thanks to many people, I was prepared for the worst. I didn't care. I knew it was temporary and I wanted it to be temporary. It was fun, then it wasn't, and I was waiting for a peaceful way out. It wasn't exactly peaceful, but it was a way out, and I'm happy.

Now, I just want to focus on myself. Making my life better. And waiting for someone who is worth a damn. Cause I'm awesome.
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a new outlook [06 Sep 2012|07:51pm]
Now I do as I please, and I lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me
Should probably feel cheap, but I just feel free
And a little bit empty
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past-due [23 Aug 2012|08:36pm]
credit card companies calling me, asking for their money.
uh oh.

......europe was fun.
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My life got flipped-turned upside down... [17 Aug 2012|12:50am]
Crazy to think just 2 months ago I was living in London...that was a different life.
I didn't know how much I needed this. I feel like I'm becoming my single self again...it's weird that you lose parts of yourself in a relationship. I don't want that to happen again.
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end of an era. [11 Aug 2012|08:32pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Bill and I broke up. I'm adjusting.
We're civil though which is really nice.

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[26 Jul 2012|10:41pm]
Europe was amazing. Of course.
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2 weeks left [01 Jun 2012|08:20am]
Weird that I'm using LJ again...meh...boring mornings and I'm lazy. No breakfast to make...need groceries:(

I just want to say:
14 days til my last day of placement.
15 days til I move home.
26 days til Europe.

Good month!
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Things are changing again [27 May 2012|09:05pm]
Back to the falls next month.
My last day of placement is June 15th. June 16th is moving day.
Sorta sad. I like my life here...to an extent. My friends, my apartment, my neighbourhood...I'm comfortable and happy in my routine.
Things are changing a lot...cause I'm moving back in with my family.
Gotta get a car, a job, and figure my shit out.
Bill's gonna live in St. Catharines.
It's gonna be good for us.

June 27th: I go to Europe with Natasha for what I expect to be three AMAZING weeks.
Start Berlin(5), Prague(3), Vienna(2), Budapest(4), Plitvice(1), Split(1), Unknown?(4)....then we fly back from Split to Berlin and spend our last night there.

I'm stressing a little bit about the cost but whatever. Gotta travel. First time I'm leaving North America. It's gonna be good.

I'm most excited for Croatia...it just seems perfect.
Water, mountains, and old Europe. It's so beautiful and charming.

I'm also really excited for Berlin, Prague...and Budapest...OK and Vienna too...so everywhere!!
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Don't think anyone reads this.... [21 Oct 2011|08:25am]
I'm happy here. I love my program. Love our apartment. Awesome new friends.
Things are good.
Bill found a full-time job with regular hours, and that's been great for him too.
We are settling in.
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London [09 Sep 2011|12:53pm]
I live in London, Ontario now.
I'm finally going to school for my CAREER, which is cool, but I really do miss Brock life.
Brock is my home. Niagara also has way cooler scenes, especially in terms of animal rights.
But it is fun checking out this new city...seeing what it offers.
Tonight we are going to a vegan restaurant for dinner, then catching the lastest Woody Allen movie at an independent theatre.
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[29 Jul 2011|08:38pm]
I broke up with my friend.
It had to be done.

Going to London tomorrow to find an apartment.
We better find one!

I'm a little nervous to move to a new place.
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[20 Jul 2011|07:15pm]
Well - I didn't get into the two schools I applied to for my MSW.
I am also not going on a trip, which was my plan b.
I got hired at CARSA again, doing some research work, event planning, and crisis intervention.
Love working there...but the catch was I had to be a student this upcoming year.
So I'm going to Fanshawe for Social Service Work....that way, after one year, I can start working in the field.
Eventually I'll apply for my MSW again.
I think its a good plan.

REALLY wanna travel though. It's killing me.
Moving is making me a little nervous. But I'm excited to be in a new place, and a place a lot of people seem to love.

In other news,
A teacher that taught at Cardinal Newman when I went there won Lotto 6 49. She taught Dan. I'm jealous and I'm not cause I hear its a curse....but can you IMAGINE!!!! 46 MILLION.
I can't wrap my head around that much money.
I'd donate a lot and start a farm sanctuary....it's just so insane what you can do with that much money..but at the same time...it fucks people up. So I don't know. maybe just 3 million for me.
Here's hoping.
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[06 Mar 2011|06:51pm]
i love my boyfriend.
i love living together.
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[02 Mar 2011|10:49pm]
its been awhile.
nothing exciting going on.

still waiting to hear from schools....no clue what im going to be doing next year...and I hate not knowing.
i figure if i dont get in, i will plan a trip. I'd like to go out west, and down to california. or to europe.
it's all a waiting game. I will know for certain in May.

i got a gym membership yesterday - now i just need to use it. i think i'll go tomorrow...even if it is just to check out the place. my motivation now more than ever is not about loosing weight, but just being in shape, being able to run long distances, feeling good, and having more energy. It's also a great way to de-stress, and if I'm going into social work, I will need that.
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[17 Dec 2010|02:07pm]
ordering pizza pizza tonight no cheese, then adding diaya! genius!
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[06 Dec 2010|01:05pm]
its snowinnngg! I always enjoy the first snow fall. I woke up this morning and there was just a dusting of snow on the ground...but it hasn't stopped since. Every time I look outside there is more.
I just wish I was home so I could see Marley react to it.
But I gotta get these 2 papers done first...

In other news, I got all my references lined up for my Masters applications.
I'm applying to Laurier and Windsor for the 2 year MSW programs.
If I get in I'm leaving Niagara which will be strange but I'm OK with it, I guess.
Bill is supposed to leave with me, and I hope he doesn't back out. I can't imagine not seeing him everyday.
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[25 Nov 2010|10:05pm]
holy fuck
i am so scared
just sent an email to my favourite professor ever asking for a letter of recommendation for Masters programs.
freaking out. I am so nervous and that is my first real step in actually applying which makes this all so much more real to me. I am excited and nervous and scared. I hope she thinks highly enough of me to write a letter. A STRONG letter (that's what I asked for). We shall see....if she says no I will be slightly heart broken and discouraged.
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[13 Nov 2010|09:13pm]
i want a dog. i wish i could get one right now. i really miss having marley around. visiting her just aint the same.

i went to the farmers market this morning...i like it there. i like living downtown.
life is good.
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